By Dr David G Maillu
“It’s only human being that marry; other animals fornicate the rest of their lives.” That’s a false statement from Prof Kabaji’s friend. The statement shows ignorance of the dimension of the kingdoms of living things. In fact, there are other living beings that have monogamous lifetime relationships, leave alone human beings that are polygamous. The penguin kingdom has a story to dismiss that friend’s claim.
Or let that friend pay a visit to the kingdom of termites and meet the termite queen-mother who knows only one husband. The husband of the queen mother knows only one wife. In fact, most of the things that human beings do, other sub-human beings do. The termite, small as it is, has a more advanced science than that of man when it comes to reproduction. Using different diets, it create different sexes, impotence workers, kingdom guards, and maids with wings. When the queen mother dies they create a new one through giving an inborn neutral life different diet. When will man achieve that revolutionary degree of science based on nutrition?
The male weaverbird builds the nest while the female watches aside. When the nest is complete he invites her to inspect it. If the work displeases her, she tells him, “It’s unacceptable.” In response, he dismantles everything and starts building it from zero. If in the end the nest is not good enough for her, she curses him and refuses accepting being the mother of his children. She runs away looking for a better husband. Is there a relevant chapter of that in the human social workshop?
“The bottom line, it appears, is that while many people desire to get married, few get happiness in it,” Prof Kabaji exaggerates a warning against marriage seekers.
In fact, the scorecard is that majority get happiness in marriage. Happiness is a relative term. I’ve personally been married for forty-five years with no regret in spite of the shortcomings therein in the marriage. An aunt of my wife used to say, “Marriage is difficult, but life is more difficult without marriage.” Majority of married people would accept that saying.
In fact, what makes marriage unhappy or happy depends on the quality of the personality of the actors. Our society has drifted from highly educated persons in marital relations, into primitive irresponsibility in the name of civilized world. Today, too many people rush into marriage with many misconceptions of living together as a couple. The storm of social decadence created by materialism is biting deeply into the spiritual fabrics of life, added to that little or none, formal education that creates the real quality of opposite sex in living together as lifetime companions.
Let us not also forget the fact that marriage is the key pillar of every human family in the world and. The rising rate of divorces shouldn’t be the parameter with which to consider the lifespan and value of marriage institution. The storm from the oceans of particularly the western civilization is hitting our offshore with the claim that, in fact, marriage institution is on its way out to become irrelevant one day. That claim can be dismissed as storm over the cup of tea cup.
Marriage is as old as human life is and, given the natural and social forces that govern human being, marriage is eternal. However, marriage will always be subject to some adjustments alterations to fit new geo-natural forces. The culture of man is in the game played by the electromagnetic forces between man and woman as long as man will be born to woman.
Let us accept the fact that different people get married for different reasons. Some get married because of material gains. But there is the saying that he who loves you because you are wealthy will hate you when you become poor. The marriage may also be caused by physical or spiritual reasons. For example, if a man and a woman find themselves walking through a desert together, whether they don’t like each other, circumstances or conditions under which they find themselves will force an intimate union that may end up into marriage; for birds of the same feather flock together.
Although many people may not believe this, reliable source of sexual tension is a prime ingredient in the pot cooking marriage. Many customers of this ingredient do so in order to avoid the high-way-hit-and-runs. Others get married forced by the determination of paying tax to the religion that says there is a sin called fornication.
On the other hand, there is a man who wants to get married because he wants to see the woman he marries bear his children. He would pay anything on earth to achieve seeing the images of himself through self reproduction. He would stand for the subsequent and collective responsibility of taking care of brining up the young ones. It’s an incredible mystery to see yourself being born through another life! The children are lifetime mirrors to parents. The force of creating that self mirror will remain with the human being for ever.
There’s another person who marries because of the dynamic forces of opposite sex in self gratification. Through woman man realizes his potentials and through man woman realizes her potentials. Consequently, the two realizes how invaluable the opposite sex is. Life is a journey through the jungle of life and the best partner to walk with in that journey is a person of the opposite sex, let gays keep their mathematics which will never explain away the value of marriage between members of the opposite sex. Factory manufactured egg or water, however sweet it will be, will never override natural egg or water.
The natural force of reproduction is responsible for the attraction between man and woman. The coming together is coated with the desire to remain close to each other, possessing each other for seeing and being for each other as often as possible. True, the glue holding them together is subject to losing grip and disintegrating the union. However, the dissolution of the union gives way to the starting of a new union.