Before you make the decision of remaining unmarried, it may be important for you to know why people get married. Or what is good about having a life-partner. To start with, it is not a must that she should get married. Those who tie marriage to religious reasons should also know that, as a woman, you may want to get married but fail to get a man to marry. There is a natural imbalance in ratio of birth. Generally speaking, births have 51% females and 49% males. A surplus of 2% females. If that is God’s dictation, where does God think the surplus will get husbands?
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It is natural for man and woman to seek company of each other for procreation. The deal is that women and men must meet sexually so that we get born. Getting a child is a responsibility that requires parental help from mother and mother, even in wildlife. There are polygamous and monogamous wildlife, just as there are polygamous and monogamous marriages in human life. Penguins, for example, are monogamous.
Natural force has it that the personality of a child is best shaped by the combined efforts of father and mother. The two are naturally equipped with complementary powers in parenthood. In terms of child-upbringing, what a child get from the mother is something unobtainable from the father. Also, what the child gets from the father is unobtainable from the mother. The child is subjected to personality imbalance if brought up by one parent, worse when brought up by the father. Parents need, each other absolutely in creating a balanced personality in the child. This is the first red flag a single parent should see before deciding to do it alone. Doing it alone is to the personality imbalance of the child. In this case, it is a selfish move.
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Social studies have volumes of statistics regarding frightening personality behaviour of single-parented persons. This is why, naturally, marriage is the answer to those problems. With this awareness, many marriages survive not because they are good but because they offer something important to the future of the children. One can say there is nothing good about a child brought up by one parent.
On the other hand, marriage can become a liability to the psychological development of children if the parents live dangerously in disharmony. In that case, there can come a time when a person may be forced to become single parent for the sake of saving the psychological development of the child.
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When one fails to get a married partner, the ugly but realistic move that one must face is to decide whether one should become a single-parent or become lifetime-childless. This is a decision that affects women more than it affects men; simply because, naturally, children belong more to mothers than to fathers. Given the choice of being brought up by a single parent, children would prefer being brought up by the mother.
For a single woman, it is quite an enormous challenge to decide to become a single mother because she can’t get a husband. However, on the ground, women who have decided to have a child regret less than those who decided to remain childless. For, down the path of life, what a child can give to mother is psychologically invaluable to the mother. It is something she can’t get from anyone else in the world but from fer her own child. End of religion.
